12.27.05
Logan Urkel… Super Dork
My child… in all her post-Christmas splendor:
12.26.05
LEATHER, YAY
Christmas was pretty good yesterday. We had to go to church (which I could really have done without, but that’s alright.) and afterwards, we went to my parents’ house for our traditional family overindulgence of food and gifts. The kids made out like bandits, of course, and I did pretty good, too. My Mom got me a leather jacket! YAY! I will get someone to take a picture sometime soon and post it, so’s youse can all see it.
I have a lot of stuff I’m supposed to do over my break this week: cleaning the house, going through closets and getting rid of stuff, cleaning up junk from the yard still left from my ex-, etc. I was gonna start today, but you know what? I decided to take today off, dammit. I’ve had something to do every day of my break so far, and I’m going to just do whatever I want today which includes NOTHING, and NOTHING, and going to see Narnia with Logan. So there! 
I’ve had a good break so far, though, really. Chelle and Kim came down and spent the night Friday and hung out for awhile Saturday. Then Jeff and Matt came over Christmas Eve and hung out for awhile. That was awesome cause I hadn’t seen them in almost two years. That’s a crying fucking shame, I tell you, seeing as how they only live 90 miles from me. I’m such a bad friend sometimes. LOL.
Logan and I are probably going to play her Harry Potter Scene It game sometime today. That should be fun. She’ll probably beat me, the little heifer.
So, yeah, Christmas was alright. It would’ve been better if I could’ve spent it with Jake, too, but… 900 miles will do that. *sigh*
On a totally unrelated but currently prevalent note to my nostrils… cat shit stinks!
12.23.05
New Journal
I’ve been keeping journals since about 1990. Whether faithfully or sporadically, I have always had a journal available for my random thoughts and feelings. The last journal I bought for myself was back in 2003, and I was rapidly running out of room, so Jake decided to buy me a new one. I love it! It is, by far, the nicest journal I’ve ever owned. It’s elegant and sturdy and makes writing in it an even more pleasant experience.
The front and back covers are a cherry wood, and the binding is leather. There is a ribbon bookmark and the pages have that pretty gold edge on them.
One day, after I’m dead, I wonder what my family/friends will think when they find all of my journals and read through them.
“Oh my God! She really WAS a raving lunatic!!” 
12.21.05
Holiday
Today is my last day of work until Monday, January 2, 2006. Yay! I really need this break. I have a lot of stuff to do that I haven’t been able to make myself do (for whatever reason) for awhile. Now I’ll have time to do it next week.
We’re going ice skating on Friday, so Logan is just super excited about that. *I* have never been ice skating, and I am quite sure I will spend more time on my ass than on those blades. BUT, I’m gonna give it a good go, anyway.
The Mexican ladies who work here at the plant cooked lunch for us today and MAN that was some good stuff!! I wish I knew everything we had, but the only things I know are eggs in green sauce, rice, and tamales. I think one of the dishes was pork… another one was some sort of soup with hot dog weenies, beans and stuff in it. I ate way too much! 
Of course, I have some leftovers I get to take home with me. w00t!!
I also got one of my Christmas presents from my Mom early today. My new VACUUM CLEANER!!! I can’t wait to go home and vacuum. *snicker*
This entry sounds like I’m in a good mood, but I’m really just faking it. I’m in a drivemyselfcrazyIfuckinghateitwhenIgetlikethis mood AGAIN today. *sigh* I just want to kick myself in the ass and say, “Deal with it or get over it.” I can’t seem to do either with any degree of conviction.
I hate my head.
12.20.05
Disappointment
I really hate it when my family and/or friends are disappointed with me. It doesn’t necessarily stop me from making decisions I think are good for myself, but it certainly affects my judgement and thoughts about the situations. I take things to heart much too quickly and easily these days, it seems, and my own mind tends to fall by the wayside. Either that, or I just do what I want and live with a tremendous amount of guilt.
This is all supposition of how future events will unfold based on past experience. My predictions in these cases are generally reliable.
On a positive note, I have something I need to find time to share with my Dad very soon. In my therapy session the other day, she asked me what was the one thing I remember making me the happiest from my childhood. (something like that) I thought about it for a little bit and realized… fishing with my Dad. That’s when I remember being the happiest, really. My Dad and I were very close when I was young. As I got older, we grew further apart as a course of natural action, I suppose, between a good ol’ boy from his generation and a daughter.
I need to tell him soon, and maybe we can go fishing again together.
12.19.05
Happy Flippin’ Monday
*big sigh*
My morning started out good, believe it or not. The downhill slide began when I stopped to put air in my tires only to end up letting more air OUT because the hose was defective. Nice words ensued as I climbed back into my car and went flopping down the road on my 22 psi right front tire in search of another air tank. Found one. $.50 please… quarters only… @#($*@&#($*@# Of course, I only had ONE quarter in my wallet. Plenty of dimes and nickels but only one freakin’ quarter. At any rate, I finally got my tires filled to capacity as needed and went on about my business, hands nice and nasty from the grimy airhose.
Things were fine when I first arrived at work. Then the dumb-assing began. I could strangle them sometimes, I swear. Not to mention the temperamental fax machine eating receivers and the telephone ringing like there’s no goddamn tomorrow.
So, now I’m nice and ill, and to top it all off, I have this pervasive feeling of dread because there’s something I’m going to have to tell my parents (soon) that I am not looking forward to telling them. I just don’t want to hear the bullshit, and I don’t want them worrying needlessly. The disappointment is already enveloping me from this *future* occurrence. The sad part is, it’s one of the happiest parts of my life right now, and I can’t even share it.
Yeah, it’s Monday. *sticks tongue out at the universe*
12.15.05
just STOP it
Things I need to stop doing:
1) Eating chocolate like it’s going out of style
2) Drinking liquor at night
3) Smoking
I gave the chocolate away this morning, so that will help. The vodka will be gone after tonight, probably, so if I can just not buy anymore, that will help. Smoking is another story… I think it will be awhile before I give that up. Although, if I somehow scrounge up the money for my plastic surgery, I will *need* to quit smoking at least 3 weeks prior in order to facilitate better healing.
Good morning, y’all. 
12.14.05
Holy Clipper Cuts, Batman!
I went to SmartStyle (a.k.a. Wal-Mart’s hair salon) yesterday to get my hair “trimmed” up a bit. The sides and back (in the bottom) were just way too shaggy. I liked the length on the top, though. So, I told the girl, “I want the sides and the back GONE.. like clipper short.” She insisted on trying to get it short enough with her fingers first, so I agreed. She went to cutting, and I realized, she was cutting the WHOLE back really short. *GASP* Oh well. Too late then!
So, she continued to cut… and cut… and cut… and cut… and I was like, “Jesus Harold Christ, lady, just go ahead and set the clippers to 2 and buzz that shit or something!” I didn’t say that out loud, of course.
At any rate, it’s short and basically a different style than it was before, but I suppose I like it alright. It feels good. It’s easy. I’m going to go home tonight and put some highlights in it, so it should look a bit better then.
12.13.05
The Birthday Girl and Me
This was taken at Texas Roadhouse. That’s Chelle’s dessert spoon. LMAO.
12.12.05
Family by Proxy
I went to visit my two best friends in the world, Michelle and Kim, this weekend to celebrate Chelle’s upcoming birthday. I had THE BEST time I’ve had in quite awhile.
I got to spend lots of time with Michelle’s family (most of whom I had only met briefly in the past), and I loved them! It’s so wonderful to be around REAL people who are friendly and loving and caring and funny. Yeah, I think I’ll adopt her family and keep it as my own, too. 
It was great spending time with Kim’s sister again and meeting her friend. “Oooh no gurrrl, I know you DI’un…”
So, thanks for the wonderful time, y’all. Chelle - I hope you have a stupendous birthday!
Pics can be seen HERE.
12.09.05
Funny Child
Here’s some background.
I’ve been listening to Willie Nelson every morning while getting ready, and one of the songs I usually listen to is “Shotgun Willie.” Some of the lyrics are, “Shotgun Willie sits around in his underwear… bitin’ on a bullet and pullin’ out all of his hair.”
Logan hears this every morning. Well, this morning, on her way back in from taking the dog outside, she slipped and fell on her ass and hurt herself, evidently. She was all crying hysterically, and after I finally got her calmed down and laughing a bit, I looked at her and said:
“You think Shotgun Willie ever fell on his butt and hurt himself?”
Without missing a damn beat, she retorted:
“If he ever got off of it.”
God, I love my child!
12.08.05
What Boredom Will Do For You
I was bored and in a good mood yesterday afternoon at work. Evidently, those two things combined lead to taking pictures of oneself with chocolate sticking out of one’s mouth so as to look like a turd. I wonder if I should put a “scat” tag on this picture just to see how many hits it gets.
*snicker*
It’s rainy drizzly nasty today, but I’m still in a good mood. SO, how ’bout THAT then??
12.07.05
OMGTIMEFLIESOHNOES!
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I started this stupid blog. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long. I guess time flies when you’re whining.
For all you loyal readers (all one of you at any given time, besides me), thanks for coming ’round. Hopefully I didn’t bore you TOO too much.
A Quote for Today
To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.
12.06.05
To be me
I am practical and irrational.
I am paranoid and trusting.
I am giving and self-serving.
I am rap and country.
I am loving and cruel.
I am morose and funny.
I am talented and lazy.
I am insecure and confident.
I am lost and directed.
I am dichotomy.
Nice Weekend
I had a good weekend.
Saturday, Logan and I went to see Chicken Little, and we just LOVED it! It was so funny!! After that, we stopped at the video store and rented Sky High, went home and ate and watched that. It was pretty good. A little cheesy, but it was supposed to be. Logan loved it, of course!
Yesterday afternoon, I took Logan to the Christmas program put on by the music department from my alma mater. It was nice. That was the first time I’d ever actually sat and listened to a performance rather than being IN it, performing. I don’t like my college, but those were certainly formative years for me, and I loved being a part of the music. It was nice to go and be a part in a different way. Of course, Logan’s favorite part was the handbell choir. (I figured it would be.)
After the concert, we returned Sky High and rented Madagascar. CUTE movie! I fell sleep for a little bit, but what I saw of it was definitely funny.
So, yeah, we had a good weekend, me and the kid.
I had to go and ruin my Monday by being… well, ME.. this morning. But, I’ll get over that. I have some wonderfully patient help.
12.02.05
WISH LIST!
Ok, so a few days ago I posted something about a multi-track recorder I wanted. I changed my mind about that one, looked around some more, and found everything I need to get started. It’s modest, really, but a bit more than I can afford at the moment. I suppose that’s what saving and Christmas bonuses are for, though! I could grab all these starter things up for around $500.
Fostex MR-8 8-Track Digital Recorder
Shure SM57 Instrument/Vocal Mic
Musician’s Friend Low-Profile Mic Stand with Regular Boom
Shure C 20AHZ Cable
Seymour Duncan Woody SC Single Coil Soundhole Pickup
Jellifish HotRods Colored Bridge Pins Purple - Purple
Fostex T20RP Headphones (forgot these earlier)
Brings the total to: $482.95
The purple bridge pins are not necessary, but I thought they might be just… neat to have! I could use some new ones, and I <3 purple, sooo….
I’m gonna get it.. somehow, yes I am!
12.01.05
Yeah, Good Fucking Morning
*sigh* I hate it when I fuck up. I reeeeally reeeeeeeeeeally hate it when I fuck up.
My job consists of planning production and tracking inventory (finished goods and raw materials) for non-carbonated flavored water and other beverages. This business is a seasonal one with summer being kick-ass busy and the cooler months slacking off quite a bit. Now, you would think that I would be itching for those slower months to come around, but… well, you would be wrong. I hate it when we slow down. When we do, I inevitably fuck something up because my attention span just isn’t as high. When we are balls-out busy, man.. I am at the top of my game! Let us slow down some, and it seems as though the brain cells just go to sleep two by two.
It sucks how two little digits in a spreadsheet and one careless day can make such a huge difference. There really is no excuse for this fuck-up today. I should’ve found it yesterday, but I didn’t.
AND I feel like a fucking fat cow!!
*fucking sigh*